If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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