I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Someone signed my nipple.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
