He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
