I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
