I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
