no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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