is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Mom said you looked used
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize