I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
