I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
