i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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