It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Floor bacon is actually really good
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