Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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