i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
