Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
