But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize