we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Non-Jews are for practice
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize