I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
