At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
