all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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