and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And then he peed in my hair
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