Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
