Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
