At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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