I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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