I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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