So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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