Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
