The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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