I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
