I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
