Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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