just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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