I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
