But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
