I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
