this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
