i just wanna soil my oats bro
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
