He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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