Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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