Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize