How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
