i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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