I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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