I didn't shave. On purpose
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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