dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she smelled like a LAN party
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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