I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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