I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
