we're blogging at a bar
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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