I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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