when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
