"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
