Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize