Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
