I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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