Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
