The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
