He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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