Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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