I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Panties = found
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