if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
