So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there is glitter all over my balls
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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