I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
