She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
