my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
