I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
