he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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