I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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