If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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