i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
