ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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