It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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