Where is the hickey?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
