i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize