Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
