I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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