Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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