Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
did you just send me my own nude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
