So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
