Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
