UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize