Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
