i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
