I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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