As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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